Diary Edition🧸 (again)

So far I had two diary editions and the last one was more about vision boards than truly about my diary.

But this will be different as I'm changing and I'm different.

I feel that the real summer closed when July ended, August somehow is part of autumn here in Ireland (nonsense), anyways July was so far the best month of mine in 2021, I loved every minute of it.💖

Beaches, friends & family programs all the hobbies and activities.. it was all amazing.

To be honest in july I even suprised myself, as I put myself up on a dating app.😮 Yes!

I think from every perspective it was a confidence booster,it was a little like ' going out to the big world', type of experience..it was great.

But as Rue says it in Euphoria ;

"Everytime I feel good, I think it will last for ever, but it doesn't "

So basically I woke up from my dream and I don't like it. Each heart break and each 'getting-closer-to-the-depression-pit' is different so I try to handle it differently.

Actually, thanks to this dark experience I made a discovery about how my pain, my mind and body can connect so that I can release my negative feelings and energies.

♡(⌒▽⌒)♡

This whole thing is basically a dance, where you focus on only your pain that you want to get rid of.

As your body starts moving to the rhythm, your mind will automatically switch off.

The main thing is to dance out your dark energy that pulls you down, I even suggest crying and singing along your chosen song.

Mine is Lana De Rey's Summer time sadness

You can choose a dance routine you can free-dance or have your own style, the point is to not focus on anything else but the music and after a while your body will move you, move you to a better place a better phase.

♡(⌒▽⌒)♡

Also an other thing that I learned for heart breaks and others was from actually Talina the founder of The Breakdown Room .

She made me realize that writing a letter to those who caused my heart break / depression is a 'genius-mood-at-the-moment-lifting' idea.

Mine is something like this:

I dont know what happened, I tried to reach you. I saw you saw all my messages but didnt answer. I dont know why, if you try to get rid of me, for some reason well congratulations it worked. You hurt me. But just to be graceful, I want to thank you for the last month it was very good.

I'm sorry this didnt work, wish you the best.

Bye.

(no judging allowed)

Mental Health update :

The shortest version is that I had the greatest month in this year which was to good to be true, and again I fall into my own trap. So I'm not doing as wonderfully as I show it on social media because, the algorithm doesnt like me being depressed so somehow it pushes me down and makes people unfollow me which adds to my depression. People sometimes asks me about my mental health and some just say 'oh its part of your generation, its a trend to be depressed', I just cant handle these, I'm not choosing to be dark and full of dark emotions and these comments certainly dont help.

I rather heal myself alone or by helping others, my fav. helping tasks that I love recommending are dancing and journaling these things helps me escape the real world and they are refreshing.

Figuring out my next step :

I have no clue...

🌸#hopehealthbeauty to all, see ya at the next one💋💋💋